This Time
by LLF
Summary: The Kovac Family....plus one. A new life in a new place.
1. Chapter 1

_Don't own 'em….just borrow them from Wells and Zabel and Warner Bros and NBC on occasion._

Abby watched as the last of the interns trailed from the lecture room and slipped her notes into her bag. She retrieved the flash drive with the visuals for her presentation and thrust it into her pocket. She stretched a bit and pressed a weary hand to her back. She loved teaching – she had come a long way in that respect – but it was not something she enjoyed after a grueling 14 hour shift. Some favor to Craig. He owed her big time for this. She'd think twice before someone tried to ditch their lecture on her at the last minute again. All she wanted right now was a hug from Joe, a hot bath and Luka. And some sleep. In that order. Maybe. Maybe not.

She checked the board with the lecture schedule near the door and sighed. Hers was the last scheduled lecture of the day. She slipped her lab coat off and smoothed it over her arm. A smile tinged the corners of her lips as she read the insignia over the breast pocket. Massachusetts General Hospital. Mass General. It had been nearly ten months and it still amazed her that she was here. And as an attending. She never thought she would ever leave County. She had been there for so long. Longer than she had been anywhere else in her entire life. A life time. First as a nurse, a med student, intern and finally an attending. Even if it was just for one day. County….and Chicago…..had been home.

And now Boston was home. They were making a good life there. She, Luka and Joe. The very instant that Luka had suggested a move that day in the park, she knew it was what they had to do. What they were destined to do. What she wanted to do. A new start. For all of them. Abby shook her head and slipped the strap of her valise over her shoulder. She snapped the lights off, closed the door behind her and headed down the brightly lit corridor toward the ER. She dug through the front pocket of her bag for her metro pass. The train was just around the corner and it was a twenty minute ride to her stop…and her car. She nodded and smiled as nurses, technicians and doctors said hello as she passed. A glance toward the desk showed her that it was still busy. Just a few feet more and she would be out the door. Maybe no one would notice. They might be two different places but some things were the same. It was easy to get sucked back into the ER vortex. Just a few feet more……

"Abby!" someone behind her called. She stopped and rolled her eyes. So close. She forced a smile and turned around.

"Becca…." She sighed. "I just finished a two hour lecture after a 14 hour shift and there's a hot bath with my name on it at home. Can't you find someone else?" The nurse manager shrugged and smiled sympathetically.

"Sorry," she said. "We have a security….situation…..that maybe you can help with." Abby's brows furrowed in confusion and she followed the nurse to the desk.

"Security has been following this girl around the hospital all day and finally caught up with her in the waiting room here. She's not telling anyone her name and the only thing in this…." Becca lifted a worn, heavy backpack to the counter top, "...with any identification was a letter addressed to a 'Dr. Lockhart.' That's who she wants to see. They tried to tell her that we don't have a Dr. Lockhart at the hospital but she insists that we do. She says she is a patient from Chicago. I don't know why they left the bag here."

Abby cautiously opened the zipper of the backpack and rifled carefully through the contents. There were several books, a neatly folded map, a sweatshirt, an empty water bottle and an odd assortment of socks, underwear and tee shirts.

"So, when she said Chicago, I remembered seeing 'Lockhart' on some of your paperwork a while ago and thought it might have been your maiden name or something," Becca went on. "Security called social services but I thought you might want to know."

"You said there was a letter?" Becca nodded.

"Security has it," she said. "They have her in their main office on the second floor. Do you know who she could be?" Abby shrugged.

"I don't know," she said as she lifted the backpack from the counter. "But I'm going to take this back to her and find out."

Abby carried the backpack to the nearby elevator and set it on the floor. She draped her lab coat over the valise she carried and picked up the backpack again when the elevator doors opened. She waited for the stream of people to exit and then stepped inside. She adjusted the employee identification card clipped to the pocket of her dark green polo as she waited for the elevator to reach the second floor. Dr. Abby Kovac. She hadn't told Luka that she'd planned to change her name when she signed on at Mass General. She had been watching the first time he'd seen her new ID lying on the table when she'd started work. He'd picked it up to look at the picture and a cockeyed smile slowly crossed his face as he read it. He'd set it down again and never said another word. But he'd been pleased. Very pleased. It was kind of crazy to use Lockhart any more. She wasn't married to Richard after all. She was Abby Kovac now. Dr. Kovac. So it was no wonder that no one knew who this person was talking about.

A patient from Chicago. A girl? There had been hundreds of patients over the years. Possibly housands. Who could possibly have remembered her enough to make the trip from Chicago to Boston? Who would have gone through the trouble to find out where she had gone?

The elevator door opened on the second floor and she followed the signs to the main security office. She smiled at the desk clerk and held up the backpack.

"I'm Dr. Kovac," she said quietly indicating her employee badge. "This back pack belongs to someone who was brought here from the ER. I think she might be looking for me? I'm Abby **Lockhart** Kovac." They both looked up as a door opened and a uniformed officer came out with an empty food tray from the cafeteria. He was shaking his head.

"I don't think that kid has eaten anything in days," he chuckled. "I think I need to send for another tray!" His eyes lighted on Abby, the back pack and immediately shifted to her employee badge.

"This is Dr. Kovac, Brett," the desk clerk said. "Dr. Abby Lockhart Kovac." The security officer studied her for a long moment and then nodded.

"Hi," Abby smiled as she extended her hand. "I used to work at County General in Chicago. I understand someone has been looking for me?"

" Just a kid, Dr. Kovac," he said as he shook her hand. "A female about fourteen, fifteen years old. Wouldn't go much older than that. Pretty self sufficient. Pretty determined to find you." He indicated that she circle the desk to the closed door he had just come from. Abby peered cautiously in the window.

"It's one way glass, Doc," the guard said. "She can't see you. Do you recognize her?"

Abby straightened and stood directly in front of the door. The room on the other side was an office, fairly neat with books and files everywhere. The girl was slumped back in a chair toying with an empty pudding container and spoon, straight brows drawn to a frown. The girl shifted her slight shoulders and looked around the room. Straight dark hair was brushed into a loosening French braid and fell down her back. Abby frowned slightly as she studied her.

"Sure she's not a relative, Doctor? There's a resemblance." Abby shook her head slowly. She reached for the door knob and pushed the door open. The girl at the desk stood up quickly, the startled look on her face melting into one of relief.

"Dr. Lockhart!" she exclaimed. "I **told **them you worked here. No one believed me." Abby frowned slightly, quizzically. Tears flooded the girl's eyes as she set the pudding container on the desk. She took a deep breath and looked across the desk at Abby.

"My grandma died." Her lips quivered and she squeezed her hands into shaking fists.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ruthie Pooler?" Abby nodded and watched the social worker intently. Just beyond the woman she could see Ruthie sitting in a chair in the outer office. Her nose was buried in a book as she feigned reading. Abby knew she was straining within an inch of her life to hear what was being said through the open door. Abby had done it herself in the very same situation. More than once in fact.

"Ruthie was my original patient," Abby said. "She presented with minor injuries from a car accident and then the Grandmother had this aggravated cough and showed some signs of dementia, so I ordered tests for her." The social worker glanced up at her over the rims of her glasses.

"And you remember all of this from…three…years ago?" Abby shrugged. No one had to know about the call she had made to County or the fact that Frank had pulled the file and given her a quick run down of the contents. The woman studied Abby for a long moment and Abby smiled.

"So what happens now?" Abby's eyes shifted to Ruthie again and the girl ducked her face back into the book.

"She goes to our juvenile lock up until someone gets here from Chicago to take her back." Abby's mouth dropped open.

"But those papers kind of give me guardianship, don't they?"

"Papers you didn't know about till tonight, Dr. Kovac. The girl is still under the jurisdiction of the Chicago DCFS. You need to work it out with them."

"But juvenile lock up?" Abby was aghast. "Don't you have a foster home or something……" The social worker shook her head and started to gather up the papers on the desk in front of her.

"The girl is a runaway, Doctor," she said dismissively and stood up. "I can't take the chance that she will do it again before they get here." Abby stood up quickly and moved to the door.

"But she came here to find me!" she exclaimed. "To give me that letter. She won't run away again. I know she won't." The woman grimaced and pressed the folded papers back into Abby's hands. She eased her way through the door toward Ruthie. Abby swung around.

"What if she stays with me?" Abby blurted suddenly as she swung around. She shrugged as all eyes turned to her.

"I'm off for the next couple of days," she said. "She can stay with me until someone comes to escort her." Abby took a step forward as Ruthie clutched her book to her chest.

"I'll give you all of our phone numbers…." Abby said emphatically. "You will be able to reach us at any time. I absolutely promise." Ruthie gazed at her hopefully and Abby smiled crookedly.

"Us?" the social worker asked.

"Uh, yes," Abby squared her shoulders and turned to the social worker again. "Ruthie can stay with my husband and me. He's a doctor as well. And we have an almost three year old son. We're both off for the next couple of days. She'll be fine with us. Really." The social worker frowned and glanced from Abby to Ruthie to the papers Abby held in her hands. She sighed heavily.

There were phone calls to make and papers to sign and it was two hours later Abby turned the key in the front door and pushed it open. Ruthie followed her inside and closed the door.

"Hey." She lifted her head with a smile as Luka made his way toward the couch with an armful of blankets, sheets and a pillow. He dropped the bedding into a neat pile on the couch and bent to kiss Abby's lips. His fingers traced her cheek for a second and then he straightened.

"Long day?" Abby sighed and dropped her bag on a nearby chair.

"I am so ready for bed," she chuckled. Luka nodded slightly and held out his hand to Ruthie.

"I'm Luka," he said as the girl slowly shook his hand. "I hope you don't mind sleeping on the couch."

"Its fine," Ruthie murmured. "Can I take a shower first? It's been a while."

"Not a problem," Abby said. "Come on with me and I'll show you where the bathroom is. Do you have anything clean to put on? I can loan you something till we get your things washed." Luka took a deep breath and watched as Ruthie followed Abby toward the bathroom.

He was stretched out on the bed reading a medical journal when Abby finally came to their bedroom.

"Is she settled?" Abby nodded.

"Poor kid," she sighed. "She was exhausted." She tugged her shirt over her head and tossed in the general direction of the clothes hamper. She stretched out on the bed next to him and Luka frowned a little as he put the magazine on the bedside table. He turned on his side to look at his wife. Her head rested on her folded arms and her eyes were closed. He carefully drew a finger through the shoulder length hair and brushed it aside from the back of her neck. He frowned. Her shoulders were tight. Really tight. She moaned just a little and he smiled again at the wordless invitation. He drew himself to a sitting position and began to knead her shoulders and the back of her neck.

"I smelled candles in the bathroom," she sighed as he undid the clasp on her bra and worked his fingers down her spine. "Did you have…..plans?" Luka leaned down to her ear.

"I always have….plans," he whispered. Abby chortled softly and turned her head to look up at him. Luka was concentrated on the muscles along her rib cage. She sighed happily and closed her eyes again.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"You should be," he said. "When was the last time we had days and nights off like this….together…at the same time?" She frowned and turned on her side, propping her head up on her elbow to look at him. Luka grimaced. Now he'd done it.

"I couldn't let her go to lock up, Luka."

"She's a runaway, Abby." Her head dropped and her eyes closed in exasperation.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? She was trying to get to me." Her eyes opened and her lips pursed a bit.

"I know what its like," she said. "To be all alone, I mean." She watched as her husband shook his head and leaned back against the pillows again. She sat up suddenly and pulled her arms out of her bra and tossed it into the hamper as she stood up.

"I don't want to talk about it any more tonight," she said as she unfastened the button and zipper in her slacks and stepped out of them on her way to their bathroom. "I'm too tired." She closed the door behind her and he frowned.

Luka knew what it was like to be alone too. But he liked what they had here together in Boston. He liked the newness of it…depending on just each other. He liked the new friends they were making and the life they were building here. The three of them. The girl was Chicago and he didn't like Chicago infringing on their life in Boston. He wasn't ready for that yet. He shook his head as he heard the shower running and reached for his magazine….again.


	3. Chapter 3

Abby stirred slightly under the covers and smiled a little as her hips nestled against the familiar warm body next to her

Abby stirred slightly under the covers and smiled a little as her hips nestled against the familiar warm body next to her. She opened one eye and closed it quickly again as the bright sunlight from the window burned into her brain. Oh geez. She opened her eyes again and looked at the clock on the table next to her. She blinked and stared at it again. Ten thirty? In the morning? She rolled over and jostled Luka's shoulder.

"Luka," she said quickly. "It's ten thirty! Your staff meeting…." His eyes opened quickly and he looked at the alarm clock. He reached over and shook it. Someone had turned off the alarm. He threw back the covers on the bed and sat up.

"Damn it," he groaned and hurried toward the bathroom. Abby sat up and rubbed her sleep filled eyes. They widened suddenly as she remembered Joe. He never slept this late. She pulled back the covers and drew her fingers through her hair as she padded across the hall to his room. His bed was empty. She frowned slightly and made her way toward the living room. The television was on and some kids' show was playing. The room was empty. She heard voices from the kitchen and entered the door. Joe was kneeling on a chair at the table with a small bowl of grapes in front of him. He grinned and popped another grape into his mouth.

"Hi, Mommy," he said as she approached. Abby chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of his dark silky hair. The refrigerator door closed and Ruthie smiled.

"Good morning," she said as she hitched up the pajama pants Abby had loaned her. "Sleep okay?"

"Um hmm," Abby nodded and lifted Joe off the chair and into her lap. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him close as he continued to chew and slip green grapes into his mouth.

"My clothes are in your washing machine. I hope that's all right." Abby grimaced.

"Of course it is," she said and pressed a kiss to the crook of Joe's neck. He squirmed and a throaty chuckle escaped from his smile.

"There was a message for your husband," Ruthie said as she set a glass of juice on the table for Joe. "His meeting was cancelled this morning. They said they would reschedule it."

Luka appeared at the door with a tie draped over the shoulders of the deep blue shirt he wore.

"The meeting has been cancelled," Abby said brightly.

"I know," he said gruffly. "I just called the office to tell them I would be late. She said they left a message for me."

"Are you hungry?" Ruthie asked. "We had scrambled eggs…..but I can make French toast or pancakes?"

"Did you listen to our messages?" Luka cleared his throat. Abby frowned a bit at his brusque manner. Ruthie stopped, her brown eyes widening.

"No," she said quietly. "But I heard that one when your answering machine picked up. It was right on the table next to my head. It woke me up actually."

"And you came in and turned off the alarms?" Ruthie shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Not exactly…." she said. "He was awake so I sent him in to do it. Dr. Lockhart said you didn't have to work today…except for that meeting. I thought you'd like to sleep in since it was my fault that you got to bed so late last night. I'm sorry."

"I pushed da button," Joe said proudly. "I weal qwiet." Abby chuckled and hugged him again.

"Oh come on, Luka. There was no real harm done and we both got some much needed sleep." His eyes shifted darkly from Ruthie to his wife and then back again.

"I think I would just like a toasted bagel and some cream cheese," Abby said blithely. "And how much longer do you think your clothes will take? We were planning to go to the park and ride the swan boats today." She jostled Joe in her lap.

"This little guy loves to feed the ducks." Joe grinned broadly and nodded happily.

"Rufie too?" he asked. Ruthie continued to wilt under Luka's gaze and then turned abruptly toward the laundry room off the kitchen.

"God, Luka," Abby scolded. "You're scaring her to death. Stop it."

"She turned off our alarms, Abby!"

"No…this one turned off our alarm." Joe chuckled and squirmed as Abby tickled his ribs. She stood up and handed him to his father.

"Why don't you get him dressed and we'll go to the park and have lunch in the city later," she said happily. "It'll be fun." Luka grimaced and shook his head as he tossed Joe over his shoulder. The little boy's deep chuckle made him smile. Abby watched them go and then turned back to the laundry room door. Ruthie poked her dark head out and looked around.

"Is he gone?" she whispered.

"He's gone," Abby chuckled. The girl breathed a sigh of relief and came out with a stack of folded clothes in her arms.

"He doesn't want me here," she said. "Maybe I better just go with that social worker."

"To Juvenile Hall? I don't think so."

"But I've been there for a day before….in Chicago," Ruthie insisted. "It's not a big deal….."

"It's a very big deal," Abby interrupted patiently, "and it's not going to happen." Ruthie's eyes blinked rapidly and she hugged the pile of clothes closer.

"But he's….."

"European," Abby said. "And he's a guy. They don't like being out numbered by beautiful women. Trust me." Ruthie grinned and nodded slightly. Abby turned her toward the bathroom and pushed gently.

"Now go get dressed," she ordered. "We have some serious walking to do today." The slight girl nodded and then turned back as she stopped at the doorway.

"Thank you," she said quietly and then left. Abby sighed and shook her head sadly. She headed toward her room and stopped for a second at the door to Joe's. She grinned slightly as she heard Luka and Joe chatting about the ducks in the park. Luka was crouching on the floor and watching as Joe pulled his tee shirt over his head. He reached out a finger to adjust a sleeve so it slid on easier and then handed the little boy a pair of shorts to put on. She rolled her eyes as their conversation shifted from ducks to using the potty in the bathroom like big boys do. He was talking quietly and they were laughing together. So sweet. And she loved it. She loved all of it.


	4. Chapter 4

They sat in the grass soaking up the warm spring sun, watching their son play with his new friend, and talked

"We can make it work, Luka," she said as she stretched her legs out in the grass and watched Joe chasing Ruthie not far away. "She's just a kid. And Holly is leaving for Europe as soon as her boyfriend is done with the spring semester." Luka turned to look at her with a frown.

"They're backpacking through Germany and Austria this time," Abby sighed. Luka nodded and turned back to watching his son.

"Anyway, I was thinking that we could use Ruthie to help us out with childcare this summer. Kind of like an au pair. We could pay her and she would have her own money to get the things she'll need for school in the fall."

"Or a ticket to run away again," Luka mused. Abby's face fell and her eyes flew to the children cavorting in the grass not far away. Joe and Ruthie had been joined by several others and were playing a chase game with a ball. A smile crossed her face as Ruthie slowed so Joe could hit her with the inflatable ball. She fell into the grass and Joe threw himself on her. They could hear Joe's giggles as the girl wrapped her arms around him and rolled. Abby glanced back at Luka and there was the tiniest hint of a smile as he watched them.

"She's a nice kid, Luka," Abby said. "That could change if she lands in the wrong situation. You know that as well as I do."

"Where are you going to put her, Abby?" he asked. "We don't have another bedroom for her to use…even for a little while."

"There's that space in the basement that we were going to fix up for Maggie to use this summer. We'll just do it sooner, that's all." Luka was unresponsive and Abby watched him watch Joe for a moment before she rolled onto her stomach in the grass. She folded her arms to rest her head on them. She sighed heavily as she enjoyed the warmth of the sun on her back and the cool grass beneath her. Luka placed a heavy hand in the small of her back and smoothed it a little. She opened her eyes and smiled as she saw him stretched on his side next to her.

"An au pair?" he asked. She nodded slowly.

"We wouldn't have to stagger our shifts like we planned,' she said softly. "We could actually see each other in the flesh now and then." Luka's eyes danced and he spread his hand up her spine and to the back of her neck. He moved his head closer and lightly tasted her lips.

"Ummm," he murmured. "I like the…in the flesh….part. Does that mean what I think it does?" Abby chuckled as his lips pressed closer and captured hers. They were startled as the ball bounced off Luka's head and they turned to see Joe and Ruthie watching them.

"Guys," Ruthie said as she looked around warily. "Get a room or something. This is a very public park." Abby chuckled as Luka sat up and brushed grass from his hands. Wordlessly he stood up and lifted Joe to his shoulders. Ruthie pulled Abby up and watched as she brushed grass from the seat of her jeans. They followed Luka and Joe toward the trolley stop.

"I was thinking about doing a little shopping," Abby said. "Is there anything that you need…or want?" Ruthie shrugged.

"What do you say we ditch the guys and check out some of the shops?" Ruthie grinned and nodded. Abby laughed and put her arm around the girl's shoulders.

Luka was on the phone when they made their way in the front door carrying several bags. He gave them a thumbs up and carried a file from the table to the den, still talking on the phone. Abby handed her bags to Ruthie.

"You can use a laundry basket for your clothes until we find a chest of drawers…and a bed…..and walls." Ruthie chuckled and dropped the bags onto the couch. She sat down next to them and started going through things. Abby followed Luka and leaned against the door as she watched him feed papers from the file into the fax machine.

"I just sent them," he said into the phone resting on his shoulder. "They should be coming through now. I know. We'll do that first thing tomorrow. Yes. Thanks again, Adele. I will. Good bye." He took the phone from his shoulder and turned it off.

"Adele Neuman," he said. "She's still with Family Services in Chicago. She is going to look into Ruthie's case for us."

"That's great," Abby nodded.

"I just faxed her the papers from the grandmother. She says that we should probably start a private foster home study to keep DCFS in Boston happy. I told her we would do that tomorrow." Abby nodded again.

"So no one is coming to get her?"

"Well, there was some confusion about who was responsible for escorting her back to Chicago. Boston told them that she was staying with 'family' until they could arrange for an escort." Abby nodded again.

"So, did you get the things she needed?" Luka leaned back against the desk and looked over as the fax machine churned.

"Just some sleep pants that fit her, underwear, a couple of tees, some shorts….." Luka nodded with a grin as she moved toward him and slipped into his arms.

"Uh huh…." He chuckled and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"And how much money did you spend?" Abby chuckled wryly.

"I just want things to be better for her for a while, Luka. I remember what it was like to be fifteen and…feeling alone." Luka frowned a little and his arms tightened around her snugly.

"Is that the only reason?" he asked. Abby was still as she basked his warmth and the beat of his heart. She sighed contentedly.

"What other reason could there be?" she asked quietly. Luka's frowned deepened a bit and he kissed the top of her head.

"I think none," he said softly. "None at all."


	5. Chapter 5

Ruthie's head hit the opened book on the table with a clunk

Ruthie's head hit the opened book on the table with a soft clunk.

"I am never going to get this," she moaned. "Why would anyone think that mixing letters and numbers in the same sentence would make any kind of sense?"

"Algebra?" Abby grimaced as she carried plates and utensils to the table. She shuddered.

"I am afraid you will have to ask Luka for help with that. Algebra makes me feel old and stupid." Ruthie chuckled and lifted her head from the book and papers. She exchanged looks with Abby and then sighed as she gathered up her schoolwork.

"I'll wait until Holly comes tomorrow," she said. "My brain isn't working too well right now anyway." Abby set the dishes on the table and studied her as she piled the school books and notebooks and calculator into a neat stack and stood up. Abby's brown eyes narrowed suspiciously. Ruthie's own brown eyes widened in surprise when she caught Abby's gaze.

"What?" she said. Abby folded her arms across her chest and continued to study the girl.

"It's been two weeks, Ruthie," she said quietly. "You can't avoid him forever. You're living in the same house." Ruthie swallowed.

"He scares me," she whispered. Abby rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"He shouldn't."

"He doesn't like me."

"Yes, he does." Ruthie regarded her warily for a moment and then picked up her school things.

"If you say so" she sighed as she carried her books to a table in the living room. Abby shook her head in exasperation and then looked up as the doorbell rang. She crossed the living room and opened the door.

"Hello," Holly said as she opened the outside door and let herself in.

"Hi! Come on in," Abby said as she held the door open for the two guys behind her. "I haven't seen you in a while, Rick. How is school going?"

"Finals are next week," the tall blonde behind Holly said with a grin. "Need I say more?"

"No," Abby laughed. " I remember….."

"We're on our way to the park for the first outdoor concert," Joe's nanny explained. "We're going to stop and get some sandwiches or something and my Mom made us bring Will." She tossed a thumb toward the boy behind them. He rolled his eyes sullenly and shook his dark head.

"We were passing by and thought maybe Ruthie would like to come too." Abby glanced toward Ruthie, who had a hopeful look on her face.

"I think that's a great idea," Abby said.

"I have to change my shoes," Ruthie cried as she hurried to the downstairs steps.

"Grab a jacket too," Holly called after her. "It gets cooler when the sun goes down."

"Thank you for rescuing me from Algebra," Abby laughed.

"Algebra?" Will straightened.

"Yes," she said as she turned to study him. "Do you understand it?" Will shrugged and leaned back against the door jamb in feigned disinterest.

"He'd much rather talk school than go to this concert," Holly laughed. Will's eyes darkened as he glared at his sister.

"Let's go," Ruthie said brightly as she made her way back up the stairs. Abby suppressed a smile as she saw that the girl had changed her clothes and pulled her dark hair into a neat pony tail.

"The concert is over at 9:30 so we'll bring her home after," Holly said as she followed the two teens and her boyfriend out the door.

"Okay," Abby nodded. Holly chuckled as Abby mouthed a silent 'thanks'. She closed the door behind them and leaned against it for a moment. A slow grin crossed her face and her eyes began to twinkle deviously. She headed for the telephone.

The house was dark and quiet by the time Luka used his key to unlock the front door. He set the large bag of Chinese take out on a nearby chair and dropped his brief case to the floor.

"Abby?" he called as he flipped on the light. "I've got dinner…." He turned slowly in confusion as the light switched off from the other side of the room. The dining table was set with two places and a lone candle burned in the center.

"Hi," Abby called softly from the door to the kitchen. She was silhouetted in the dim light as she leaned against the door frame. Luka glanced around warily and swallowed.

"Ruthie is at a concert in the park with Holly and her boyfriend," Abby said quietly as she approached him. Luka heart began to pound in his chest and his throat went dry. She drew closer, tracing a finger along the edge of the table. He could smell the scent of the perfume he'd given her for Christmas.

"Joe is at Caleb's house for a play date so I called to see if they would mind keeping him for dinner."

"Yeah?" Luka swallowed as she neared, a grin beginning to creep across his face. Abby reached up to trace the dimple in his cheek. Their eyes held as her fingers slipped to the clasp on his belt.

"He's probably happily digging into fish sticks and macaroni and cheese right…about….now…." her voice trailed off and he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. His hands went to the sides of her face and he held her still as their lips locked in a deep kiss. He began to chuckle as she struggled with the zipper in his pants and then he reached down to her waist.

"Ah! What are you doing?" Abby shrieked as he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder.

"Saving time…" Luka said as carried her toward the staircase to their bedroom. "Oh my god. Are you gaining weight?"

"Shut up!" Abby chortled as she slapped him on the behind. Luka laughed and groaned playfully as he carried her easily up the stairs to their bedroom. He dropped her onto their bed and grinned lecherously as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Abby stretched on top of the comforter and waited. He grinned as he leaned down and slipped a hand under her tee shirt, his fingers and palm smoothing across the warm skin of her belly and rib cage. His finger tips traveled the familiar path upward. He wasn't surprised to find her braless – nipples erect and full breasts waiting for him.

"It's been so long I thought we might have forgotten how to do this," she gasped softly as he worked her shirt over her head. Luka chuckled and tossed the shirt in the general direction of the clothes hamper.

"Not a chance…" he sighed and went to work. A soft moan worked its way from the hollow of her throat and she buried her fingers in this dark hair. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the sensations beginning to course through her body. She frowned in disappointment when he stopped. She opened her brown eyes to find him looking down at her.

"What?" Luka shrugged.

"I think I'm hungry," he said. Abby shook her head and laughed.

"Oh come on!" she cried. "You're going to finish what you started first." Luka laughed gleefully as she pulled his face to hers and her lips held him as her fingers went back to working on the zipper on his pants.

It was very clear halfway through the first set that Will had very little patience for country music. He fiddled and squirmed and finally nudged Ruthie and tipped his head toward the outer rim of people settled on the grass for the concert.

"I'm going to get us something to drink," he said loudly to his sister. Holly glared at him but nodded.

"Come on…" he said as Ruthie stood up to follow him. He grabbed her hand as she almost lost her balance picking their way around the blankets and chairs and people settled on the grass. She sighed in relief when they reached the safety of the sidewalk and he let go of her hand.

"So you're not a country fan, I take it?" Will shook his head.

"Are you?" Ruthie shrugged.

"I guess it depends on the song," she said as she began to wander slowly down the sidewalk. She looked back at him and Will pointed toward the bright lights of a convenience store not far away.

"My Grandma loved country music," she said as he caught up with her. "We listened to it a lot."

"Holly said she died," Will said. Ruthie nodded.

"Yeah, she did." Will watched her as they walked slowly. She turned to look at him and smiled.

"So you like school? And Math?" Will chuckled ruefully.

"I guess you could say that," he sighed. "My Mom kind of makes Holly take me to these things. I'm not sure if I am supposed to be chaperoning them or just getting away from my books. How about you?"

"Oh well, I'm finishing the school year with my school in Chicago," Ruthie said. "They send my assignments and we fax them back when I am done. It's easier than starting a new school for just a few weeks, I guess, but I miss having a **real** teacher to help me. Especially with the Algebra." She looked down and held her arms out to balance as she walked along the very edge of the walkway.

"It's not like I am going to need it for what I want to do or anything." Will watched her and then followed her along the edge.

"Lawyers don't need to know Algebra. I'm going to be a lawyer," Ruthie said firmly as she crossed the sidewalk along the crack, still balancing as she put one foot in front of the other. "I'm going to prosecute drunk drivers to the full extent of the law…and then maybe some more." Will chuckled. Ruthie stopped in her tracks and glanced back at him.

"A drunk driver killed my parents," she said. His face fell and he stopped in his tracks. Ruthie turned back to the crack in the sidewalk and resumed her balancing act.

"I hate people who drink too much," she said quietly. "I hate people who drink at all."

"Wow," Will whistled. "That's pretty hard line. Lots of people drink alcohol at some time or another." Ruthie stopped again.

"And they kill people," she said. "They destroy families and don't even care." Will frowned slightly and nodded toward the door of the store.

"So do you want some chips or a candy bar or something?" he asked lightly. Ruthie blinked in the flashing lights of the store and then shrugged her shoulders.

"Holly gave me her last ten dollars," Will grinned wryly. "Let's spend all of it!" Ruthie giggled and shook her head. She looked up shyly as the boy opened the door and waited for her. She smiled and went inside.


	6. Chapter 6

Abby checked through the papers in her bag and snapped the valise shut

Abby checked through the papers in her bag and snapped the valise shut. She adjusted the strap over her shoulder and then looked up the stairs.

"Ruthie," she called. "I'm leaving." It was only a moment before Joe was jumping down the steps brandishing a cardboard sword in his hand.

"Hoho….mommy!" he cried as his feet hit solidly on the landing. Abby laughed and clapped her hands to her chest as she took in the sight of her son in his current favorite tee shirt with vegetables dressed as pirates, one brown eye twinkling and one blinking behind a too big pirate patch. His dark hair was all askew in the elastic that was trying to hold the patch in place. He had a curling mustache drawn on his face and was grinning from ear to ear.

"That's great!" Abby laughed and the frowned slightly. "Are pirates allowed to kiss their moms good bye?" Joe nodded and leaned happily toward her. Abby wrapped her arms around him and swung him off his feet as he giggled. She looked up and laughed again as Ruthie came down the stairs with a similar sword and patch over her eye.

"I'm going to a meeting before my shift," Abby said. She kissed Joe's cheek and then set him back on the landing. ""Luka is bringing dinner home and should be here around six o'clock."

"He doesn't have to," Ruthie said. "I can cook something for dinner." Abby grimaced.

"I know you can," she said as she headed toward the front door. "But one thing I have learned is never come between Luka and his take outs. He might expect ME to cook." Ruthie shrugged with a slight smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning." Abby took a lingering last look at the two 'pirates' on the stairs and blew Joe a kiss before closing the front door behind her.

Another meeting. They weren't so bad any more. Boring as a rule but at times intriquing. Janet Coburn had encouraged – no ordered – her to find a sponsor in Boston as soon as possible. She had made the rounds of meetings and found a couple places that she liked….if that was possible. And she attended dutifully in the beginning. There had been so much to do with the move and getting to know her new job. Luka insisted and made it possible for her to go. Once a week at first. And now once a month. She was basically low maintenance as a rule. She had Luka to talk to this time. They were done with keeping secrets…with not talking to one another. But still a meeting now and then was a good thing.

"Abby!" She turned with a smile as another woman approached. "How are you?"

"Wonderful, Nadine," Abby said as she hugged her friend. "And you?"

"Made it through another month so I can't complain," the blonde woman sighed. "How are Joe….and Ruthie, was it?" Abby nodded.

"Fine," she said. "She finished all of her schoolwork by correspondence and has been taking care of Joe since our nanny left for Europe. She does the laundry and cleans the house…."

"You should bring her to a teen meeting sometime," Marian moaned. "Maybe some of that will rub off on my Caroline." Abby chuckled as the two of them made their way toward the chairs set up for the meeting.

It was disconcertening to sit across the table from her at times. To even look at her. The resemblance was uncanny. Impossibly similar. Luka reached over to hand a napkin to Joe and the little boy used it carefully to wipe pizza sauce from his cheeks. Luka grinned as his son smiled and went back to work on the slice of pizza on his plate. Ruthie shifted in her chair and toyed with the salad on her plate.

"So, how was your day?" she asked, her voice breaking the silence. Luka shrugged and blinked.

"Like any other, I suppose," he said. 'Busy." He was silent.

"Well, we played pirates most of the afternoon," Ruthie carried on again.

"Ho, ho ho!" Joe cried lustily as he straightened in his chair.

"YO ho ho, Joe," Ruthie shook her head. "You sound like Santa Claus." Joe stopped and looked around carefully. "Do you remember Santa Claus?" The little boy stuck a finger in his mouth and nodded warily.

"We took him to a Christmas party at my hospital," Luka whispered loudly. "Santa was a little scarey this year. But not next year, eh Joe?" The little boy's eyes were big and round as he nodded slowly. Ruthie laughed and Luka's eyes darted to her face again. He looked away quickly and sat back in his chair.

"Nothing to do with your friends tonight?" he asked her. Ruthie shook her head and began to gather up the dishes and utensils in front of her.

"Naw," she sighed as she stood up. "Joe and I have a surprise for you though." She carried the dishes into the kitchen and came out with some papers and a box of crayons. Joe straightened in his seat and grinned at Luka as Ruthie spilled some crayons on the table in front of him. He waited and watched her expectantly as she sat down in her chair and rifled through the papers in front of her.

"Joe," she said. "Can you find this crayon?" She held up a paper with a color word. Luka's smile grew as the little boy searched through the pile in front of him and held up a red crayon.

"Red!" he crowed triumphantly and handed the crayon to Luka.

"That's great!" Luka laughed and leaned down to kiss the little boy's head.

"There's more…" Ruthie held up another paper with another color word. Joe picked up a green crayon and handed it to Luka. And then a blue one. And then an orange one.

"We're working on some of the others but these are the ones he really knows." Luka pulled his son into his lap and hugged him close.

"That's wonderful, Ruthie," he said softly. "Thank you." Ruthie smiled and gathered up the crayons to replace them in the box.

"We have to do something fun during the day," she said. "Might as well work on that preschool stuff. He can write his name now too but we're saving that to show Abby first."

"He'll be the smartest kid in his class," Luka chuckled as he jiggled his giggling son. They all looked up as the doorbell rang.

"I get it!" Joe cried as he squirmed off Luka's lap and raced Ruthie to the door.

"My stuff!" she cried happily as the open door revealed a deliveryman with a huge box. Luka crossed the room to help with the box after Ruthie signed for delivery. He carried it to the couch and watched as she found a pair of scissors and cut away the tape.

"When my grandma got really sick again and the social worker was talking about foster homes….." Her voice trailed off as she tackled the tape. Joe stood on the couch next to the box, studying it curiously. He lifted his chin to peer inside as she opened the top flaps.

"I gave some of my stuff to a neighbor, one of my Grandma's friends, to keep for me till I found out where I would end up." Ruthie smiled in satisfaction as she surveyed the contents of the open box.

"What dis?" Joe tugged a worn teddy bear from the box. Ruthie took it from him and straightened the ribbon bow around the bear's neck.

"This is Seymour," she said happily as she turned the bear around in her arms. "My Dad got him for me when I was a baby. You can play with him but be very careful. He's kind of old." Joe's eyes were round and wide as Ruthie carefully laid the bear in his arms.

"Okay," Joe sighed as he jumped down from the couch and held the bear to his chest. "I will take him to my room." Luka watched him go and then turned back to Ruthie. She carefully drew a red and blue quilt from the box and wrapped it around her.

"My Grandma made this for me," she said softly as she held the folds of the quilt close and closed her eyes for a moment. There were traces of tears in her lashes as she opened them again and glanced back into the box. She pulled out a large scrapbook and a battered tin box.

"Pictures and some jewelry," she said. "Nothing valuable or anything….at least not to anyone but me."

"My wife had a box like that," Luka said as he nodded toward it. Ruthie looked up at him curiously.

"Abby?" Luka shook his head.

"My first wife," he said. "It was just some things she got when she was a girl. Rings and necklaces from her mother and grandmother. My daughter loved to put them on and play with them."

"Me too," Ruthie grinned. "I'm going to put this quilt on my bed. Be right back." Luka nodded and watched as she headed for the basement steps. He reached out and opened the scrapbook. The picture on the very first page made the lump in his throat do a somersault. His eyes widened a bit as he studied the three faces in the photograph. The baby was obviously Ruthie. The man and the woman holding her were obviously her parents. Definitely. Her features were their features. Positively. Suddenly he felt like such a fool. Luka shook his head and closed the book in his hands.


	7. Chapter 7

It was well past three in the morning when she finished her shift, the necessary charting and made it home again. She locked the front door, turned off the small light that had been left on for her in the living room and dragged herself up the stairs. It had been a rough shift. The meeting before hand had been a little grueling as well. Nadine had begged her again to be a sponsor. She peeked into Joe's room and smiled softly at the sight of him spread eagled on his bed, softly snoring. She went in to adjust the covers over him and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. She made her way to the bathroom and turned the water on in the shower. Just ten minutes later she was wrapped in her robe and was drying her hair with a thick towel. She hung the damp towel on it's bar and ran a comb through her still damp hair. She flipped off the light and opened the door to their bedroom. The bedside light was still on and she peeked inside.

He was stretched out on top of the bed spread in sweat pants and a stark white tee shirt. His shoulders were propped up on a pile of pillows and she leaned against the door jamb for a moment watching him sleep. His long, lanky legs were crossed at his ankles. His dark hair drifted across his forehead and his dark lashes slashed his angular cheek bones. A shadow of a beard graced his cheeks and chin and his lips were slightly parted as he breathed slow and still. He was so relaxed in sleep. So peaceful. Her heart did a flip flop in her chest and she took a deep breath. She still thought about how she had almost lost him. Lost all of this. She frowned curiously as she noticed his hand resting on top of a book. She eased herself carefully onto the bed and straightened the robe she wore around her. She glanced at his face next to her and carefully pulled the book from under his fingers. She turned the pages noiselessly and a smile began to creep across her face. There were beautifully scrapbooked pages of pictures. Obviously of Ruthie. Baby pictures. Pictures with a young woman who was obviously her mother. Of a young man who was obviously her dad. And then toddler pictures of just Ruthie. Dressed for her first day of Kindergarten with her grandmother nuzzling her face. A small school picture of a wide smiling first grader with two missing front teeth. She looked over as Luka stirred.

"Hey…." He murmured as he slipped a hand to the back of her neck.

"Hey…" She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. "Waiting up for me?"

"Mmmm hmmm," Luka chuckled softly. He stretched his legs and arched his back a bit. Abby lifted the book in her hands.

"Where did this come from?"

"A friend of her grandmother's sent it to her. There were some other things too. Ruthie asked her to keep them till she knew where she was going to…end up." Abby was flipping through the pages again and shifted her shoulders as his long fingers massaged her neck.

"You said it was a rough shift on the phone." Abby nodded slightly, not taking her eyes off the pictures in the book.

"She was a cute little girl….." she said softly. Luka nodded and then slowly slipped his hand from her neck to her back. He pulled it free and then laced his fingers together behind his head.

"I…uh…I have to apologize about something and I don't know how to do it." Abby frowned and turned to look at him.

"I thought we decided that we wouldn't need to do that any more," she said. "Apologize, I mean." Luka suppressed a smile and reached out to cup his hand at the crook of her neck. Abby tipped her cheek rest it on his warm hand, not taking her eyes from his face. He took a deep breath.

"It's about her," he said as his eyes shifted to Ruthie's scrapbook. "I…uh….couldn't figure why you have been so….intent… on keeping her here. I…uh…thought that maybe…um…."

"What?" Abby straightened in confusion and took his hand in hers. "Tell me…." Luka looked away and sighed again.

"I thought maybe she was yours, Abby," he said quickly.

"My…what?" Luka looked at her again and grimaced. Abby studied him and then her eyes widened in realization.

"You thought she was my daughter?"

"She looks like you," he said quietly. "She moves her hands like you. Shit. She even laughs like you do." Luka picked up the scrapbook again and flipped it open to the first page.

"And then I saw this," he said. "She's not yours. Not at all."

"And do you thought I would keep it from you if she were?" Luka shrugged and studied the picture. Abby waited a moment and then took the book from him. She put her hands on the sides of his face and turned him to her again.

"Joe is the only baby I have ever had," she said softly. "And you…are the only man I have ever even wanted to have a baby with. I promise." Luka studied her for a moment and then grinned slyly.

"Okay?" she said.

"Okay…." He nodded. She leaned forward and kissed him. Luka's hand slipped to her shoulders and he held her closer as their kiss deepened.

"You do have to make it up to her though, you know," Abby said as she pulled away. "You've been kind of…different…with her."

"So what do I do?" he asked as she climbed off the bed to shed her robe and slip into pajama pants and a cami.

"You're off tomorrow,' Abby said. "Take her someplace special for the day. Maybe shopping or something."

"Shopping with a teenager?" Luka groaned. "That's torture…."

"Serves you right," Abby chuckled as he stood up to help pull back the covers on the bed. "How could you even think that…I…could be the mother of a teenager?" Luka laughed and pulled her into his arms under the goose down coverlet. He switched off the light and sighed as she snuggled her back against him and laced her fingers in his. He nuzzled her neck carefully, pressing soft languishing kisses to the clean smelling skin there.

"Luka…." she sighed. "I'm exhausted."

"So, go to sleep." Abby turned to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You are so going to pay for this," she said sternly as she pressed her hips into his.

"I am looking forward to it," he chortled and claimed her mouth with his.


	8. Chapter 8

They were gone when she woke up and it was just as well. She had errands to run and planned to meet Nadine and another of the AA clients. It was someone in need of a temporary sponsor. She had agreed to do it somewhat reluctantly. It had been barely a year since she'd left rehab herself. She was still a little wary of the spiritual aspects to share them with someone else. She really didn't have much time she was willing to share either but it was someone who worked at the hospital so the proximity would be close. She was worried about becoming overwhelmed. And there was the issue of Ruthie. That was always at the back of her mind. Joe loved her. She made things so easy for them around the house. And she was smart. As much as she complained about her school work she had carried off every class with an 'A'…..on her own. And she was fun. Sometimes it was nice just to have another female around to talk to…to laugh with. She had never really had that before. Luka's confession from the night before had stunned her. Why hadn't he talked to her earlier? He had made himself miserable over nothing. Hadn't he? And they were supposed to be talking to one another. Weren't they?

Something smelled wonderful when she let herself into the house. It was warm and spicy. She took a deep breath and sighed. She carried her grocery bag to the kitchen and found Ruthie slipping a pan of lasagna from the oven.

"Wow," she said as she set the bag on the counter. "Home made tonight?" Ruthie chuckled and shook her head.

"Not exactly."

"So what did you guys do today?" Ruthie looked at her forlornly and Abby frowned worriedly. She sighed heavily as realization flooded her brain.

"He didn't," she said.

"Quack…" Ruthie sighed as she rolled her eyes.

"He took you on the Duck Tour." Ruthie leaned over and slid a pan of bread into the oven. Abby ran her fingers through her hair impatiently and glanced up at the ceiling.

"Luka Kovac!" she called out sharply. She hurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

"Something wrong?" Luka stuck his head out of the bathroom door. Abby stopped in her tracks and frowned at him.

"I thought I told you to do something fun with her." Luka frowned in confusion.

"You took a fifteen year old girl on the Duck Tour?" He grimaced.

"It was fine," he said. "We had a great time." Abby leaned against the wall in the hall.

"Oh, I bet you just loved it," she said. "Quacking all over Boston in an amphibious …vehicle." Luka's head disappeared back into the bathroom.

"Hey. you did it!" he said happily. "Good job, Joe."

"What are you two doing in there?" She moved to peer around the door jamb. Luka was adjusting the band on Joe's jean shorts as the little boy stood on a stool in front of the toilet. Joe turned round eyes up to hers and pointed into the toilet where a square of toilet paper floated near the bottom.

"I sinks the boat!" he said.

"And it was a standing up job too," Luka nodded with a grin. Abby rolled her eyes and lifted the little boy into her arms.

"My baby is growing up," she sighed as she nuzzled his neck. Joe giggled and squirmed in her arms till she let him down. He dragged the stool to the sink and used the soap dispenser as Luka turned on the water. She leaned against the door and grinned as Luka and Joe sang a little song while he washed his hands. Luka's eyes met hers and he grinned. She reached for the towel and handed it to Joe so he could dry his hands. They all looked up as the doorbell rang.

"Were you expecting someone?" Abby asked. Luka shook his head.

"It might be one of Ruthie's friends."

"I can git it!" Joe cried as he raced out of the bathroom and down the hall.

"Joe!" Abby cried as she tried to catch him. "Be careful of the stairs!" The little boy giggled and wiggled out of her reach. Abby laughed as she chased him.

"I'll get you now, you little stinker!" Joe clung to the banister as he hopped down the steps with Abby close behind him. She swept him up in her arms as they both reached the landing and blew a raspberry on his bared tummy. Joe shrieked with laughter and wrapped his arms around his belly.

"No, Mommy!" he cried. Abby laughed and blew a second one as Luka came down the steps.

"Maggie?" She stopped and turned to the open front door. Ruthie was carrying in a suitcase as Maggie took off the light jacket she was wearing.

"Mom…" Abby set the giggling little boy down. "You weren't supposed to be here till next week."

"Well, hello to you too, Abby," Maggie chuckled. She moved forward and kissed Abby's cheek as she pressed a hand to Joe's head.

"Hey, you sweet little man." Maggie kissed Joe and lifted a hand to wave to Luka. "We had to switch our vacations around because someone had a family issue and I tried to call you but then I thought it might be better to just surprise you. So…surprise!" She turned her attention back to the little boy in Abby's arms.

"Do you have a hug somewhere for your Grandma?" Joe cringed away from her and snuggled back in Abby's arms.

"Joe!" Abby scolded as she kissed the top of his head. "This is your Grandma. You talk to her on the phone, remember?" Maggie's smile widened a bit as she patted him.

"Aw, it's okay," she said. "It'll take a little while for him to get to know me again, that's all." She looked back at Abby's stunned face and chuckled.

"This is all right, isn't it?" she asked. "To come a few days early?" Abby shook her head.

"Well, yeah but…"she shifted Joe to her hip. "Well, I took on some extra shifts next week so I could have some time off while you were here."

"Oh honey, that's sweet of you," Maggie sighed. "But you know I'm not really here to see you, right?" Abby rolled her eyes. Maggie inched closer, her eyes on Joe.

"No, no, no…" she said as she reached a finger toward her grandson. "I'm here to see this little guy and we're going to go to the park and feed the ducks and ride the trains and…." Joe's smile widened shyly and then he reached out to wrap his arms around Maggie's neck.

"Oh…there you go, sweetie," Maggie chuckled as Abby handed Joe to her. "See? It just took a minute for you to remember your old Grandma, right?" Maggie turned and headed toward the couch with Joe wrapped in her arms. Abby watched them and then shook her head.

"He is so fickle," she murmured. Luka chuckled and rested a hand on her shoulder. Abby reached up to take his hand as they watched Joe with Maggie.

"Well…" Ruthie said brightly. "Dinner's ready. I was just setting the table"

"I'll help you finish," Abby sighed. "I've got nothing better to do……" Ruthie laughed as Abby followed her toward the kitchen. Maggie looked up at Luka with a huge smile.

"My god, he is so beautiful!" she laughed and hugged Joe again. Luka chuckled and then nodded satisfactorily.


	9. Chapter 9

"Your mother looks well," Luka said as they folded back the coverlet on the bed. She shrugged.

"I was a little worried when her doctor changed her meds but it's been four months now. Seems to be working okay." She sat on the bed with a sigh.

"And she's happy." She glanced back at Luka and they exchanged smiles.

"Happy to be with Joe for a while, anyway," he chuckled.

"Oh, I know!" Abby laughed. "Do you think she noticed that we were even in the room?" Luka shook his head and sat on the bed. He stretched his long legs out in front of him and waited.

"And she hit it off so well with Ruthie," Abby sighed as she stretched out next to him, cuddled under his arm, her head resting on his shoulder. "Kind of made me a little jealous."

"Aw…poor baby," he crooned playfully and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She laughed softly and slapped his chest.

"Stop!" She pulled herself back to a sitting position and slipped her legs over the edge of the bed. "Ugh….I so don't want to go to work tomorrow."

"It's my turn to drive," Luka said. 'I'll pick you up after our shifts and we can go out to dinner together. Just the two of us?" She glanced back at him.

"How often do we get a chance to do that?" he added. "And we can always say that we got caught at the hospital."

"You're pretty devious, you know that?" Luka shrugged his shoulder and grinned as he picked up a medical journal from the table on his side of the bed. The grin was still there as he watched her get ready for bed over the edge of the book. Abby's eyes met his and she chuckled and shook her head.

It was late in the night when Abby felt a rustling on the side of the bed and opened her eyes. She made out the shape of a little boy standing next to her in the dim light. She squinted to look at her clock and made out the time. 2:30 am. She reached out to turn on the bedside lamp. Joe blinked sleepily in the low light and stuck a finger in his mouth.

"Joe?" she asked as she put her arm around his waist. "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" He shook his dark head and gazed at her with wide eyes.

"Roosie's in my bed," he said flatly. Abby raised herself carefully up onto her elbow.

"I know, sweetie," she whispered. "That's because you were sleeping with Grandma in Ruthie's bed. Remember?"

"I want my own bed, Mommy," he said as tears pooled in his eyes.

"Aw, honey…" Abby pressed a kiss to his forehead and then pulled back the covers.

"Sleep with mommy and tata tonight and we will fix it tomorrow, okay?" Joe nodded and crawled under the covers with her. She turned the light off and pulled him close to her.

"Shhhh….go right to sleep now," she whispered as she fingered the soft hair on his forehead. "We don't want to wake your dad."

"Too late," came a soft whisper in her ear. She grinned and nestled closer to him. She pulled Luka's arm over her waist and his hand gently came to rest over the covers on Joe's tummy.

"Ummmm…." Abby murmured contentedly. "A Kovac sandwich." Luka chuckled softly.

"What?" Abby patted his hip and then covered his hand on Joe with hers.

"Two slices of Kovac 'bread'," she sighed peacefully.

"And what does that make you? Pastrami? Roast beef? Ham….maybe?" Abby suppressed a laugh.

"Stop! Go back to sleep," she scolded softly. She felt Luka chuckle against her back and then sigh deeply.

"You're the heart of it, Abby," he said softly in her ear. "The heart in the middle of all of this. You know that, right?" His lips brushed the back of her neck in a gentle kiss and she could feel him drifting back to sleep. She lay there – awake – as she enjoyed the soft, even breathing from both sides. Her husband and her son. Sound asleep. The three of them nestled together like spoons in a drawer. Unbeknownst to them a single tear of pure bliss and thankfulness slipped from beneath her lashes and soaked into the pillow case beneath her cheek.

Maggie was just a little leery of the trains when she stepped on with Ruthie and Joe the next day. The girl was extremely confident about where they were supposed to be and which train to get on. She slipped a metro pass into her pocket and held tightly to Joe's hand. Maggie settled herself onto a seat near the door and smiled at Joe. He stood on a chair next to Ruthie with his nose pressed against the window.

"He likes this train," Ruthie said as she wrapped an arm around his waist to hold him. "There's one section of the tunnel where you are going so fast you can see moving dinosaurs on the wall."

"Really?" Maggie said in feigned amazement. Joe nodded and she smiled as he pressed his nose to the window again. She swallowed and grabbed the handle of her seat as the doors slid shut and the train began to move.

"So where shall we put this rollaway bed that we just bought?" she mused as she steered her eyes warily about her..

"There's space in my room," Ruthie said. "If you don't mind sharing it with me. I don't think I snore or anything." She chuckled and then glanced at Maggie. She frowned slightly as her eyes took in the woman's white face and knuckles gripping the arm rest.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly. Maggie pursed her lips and nodded slightly.

"Are you having a panic attack?" she asked. "If you are, sometimes it helps to focus on something." Maggie nodded stiffly again. Ruthie eased Joe down into her lap.

"Joe," she whispered in his ear. "What color are your Grandma's eyes?" The little boy frowned slightly and then turned to look at Maggie. He put chubby hands on her cheek and turned her face to his. Maggie swallowed and then smiled as he searched her face.

"Dey's brown," he said. "Yike my eyes! See?" He opened his eyes really wide and Maggie sighed as she grinned. She looked up as the train came to a stop. Ruthie stood up and lifted Joe into her arms.

"We can get off here," she said. "It's still a hike to the park but we might be able to catch the bus…."

"No, I'm fine, honey….really." Ruthie studied her for a second and then sat back in the seat next to her. Maggie smiled and nodded. She reached for Ruthie's hand and clung to it thankfully for a second. The doors to the train slid shut and Maggie took a deep breath and took Joe from Ruthie.

"So are there lots of ducks at the park, Joe?" she asked. The little boy squirmed into her lap and nodded. Maggie sighed and began to relax a little as the train sped on to another stop on the line. She wrapped her arms closer around the little boy and kissed the top of his head.


	10. Chapter 10

"Well, I am going to have to take her to a meeting," Abby said as she turned off her cell phone and shook her head. "Why don't the three of you head down to the pier, have some lunch and I will meet you at the aquarium. The meeting should only take an hour or so."

"Are you going to be able to find a meeting to go to? Just like that?" Maggie was slipping a light jacket onto Joe. Abby shrugged.

"This is AA, Mom," she sighed. "There is always a meeting somewhere. You know that."

"I have some snacks for Joe." Ruthie came from the kitchen with a small brown sack in her hand. "AA? You mean like in Alcoholics Anonymous?" Abby nodded and opened the purse that was sitting on the back of the couch.

"Here's some cash…." she said as she rummaged through it looking for a wallet.

"Oh Abby, that's not necessary," Maggie scolded.

"So you're taking care of this person because you are a doctor, right? So you can help her?"

"Well, technically I'm her sponsor right now because her real sponsor is out of town for a while." Abby handed some money to Maggie. "Today was supposed to be my treat, remember?" Maggie rolled her eyes and took the money.

"You paid for everything you did with them last week while I was working," Abby argued.

"We went to the park a few times," Maggie shook her head as she hugged a squirming Joe.

"Yeah…and to the zoo, the playground at Castle Island and shopping and on the trolley tour…." Abby grimaced as she slipped into her jacket and picked up the purse. "I mean, what did you leave for me to do with you?"

"The aquarium?" She and Maggie said at the same time. Abby chuckled.

"Ruthie," she said lightly. "You can get some lunch on the pier or maybe at Quincy Market. It's just a block or two from the aquarium stop……" Abby's voice trailed off and her brows puckered as she glanced toward the girl. Ruthie was studying her intently with a frown on her face, her hands tightly gripping the bag she held.

"You can only be a sponsor if you are an……." her voice trailed off in disbelief.

"Alcoholic," Abby finished slowly. "I know. I am."

"Have you ever been drunk? Have you ever driven a car while you were drunk?" Ruthie's eyes never left her face and Abby took a deep breath.

"Yes……and yes," she said as their gazes locked. Ruthie's eyes widened a bit and she crumbled the sack in her hands.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked as anger began to roil inside her.

"I don't know," Abby shrugged slowly. "I guess I thought you knew. I haven't been secretive about going to meetings……"

"I thought they were…hospital meetings," Ruthie spit angrily.

"Ruthie….." Maggie stood up, beginning to be alarmed by the girl's white face.

"I….I…have to go," the girl said quietly and then moved toward the front door. Abby reached out to catch her arm and Ruthie jerked it free.

"No!" she cried angrily. "Don't touch me!" Abby watched the girl hurry through the front door and slam it behind her.

"What just happened?" Maggie asked.

"I'm not sure," Abby said slowly. Concern began to build on her face.

"Where will she go?" she said. Maggie made her way around the edge of the couch.

"Abby," she said as she grasped her daughter's shoulders. "She'll be fine. She's just gone for a walk or something. She has her metro pass. She has friends…" Abby dragged her eyes from the door to her mother. "Honey, god knows she knows her way around this city. She's taken me everywhere. She'll be fine." Maggie shook her and smiled a little.

"You take your friend to her meeting and come back home," she said decidedly. "Ruthie will be back by then and we can talk to her about it. After she has had a chance to calm down. She's a good kid, Abby. Everything will be fine."

"But did you see her face? She hates me…." Maggie drew Abby close and hugged her.

"She doesn't hate you," she sighed. "She's fifteen. Now go. Your friend is waiting for you. She needs you. Go take care of that and come home." Abby pulled away and wiped the moisture from her eyes. She nodded and forced a smile. Maggie watched with a worried frown as Abby circled the end of the couch and picked Joe up in her arms. She hugged the little boy close and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Be good for Grandma…" she said as she set him back down, grabbed her bag from the couch and headed out the door. Joe was close behind her.

"Wanna go wit you, Mommy!" he cried. Abby gently moved him away and closed the door. Maggie swooped him up in her arms as he screamed in protest.

"It's okay, baby," she crooned as she kissed his cheek. "Shall we make some cookies, Joe? Let's make mommy some cookies, huh?"

"Roosie too?" he hiccupped. Maggie chuckled and jostled him in her arms.

"Yeah, Roosie too," she sighed as she kissed his wet cheeks and headed for the kitchen.

In Boston's Public Garden, Will watched from his perch on a cement bench as Ruthie maneuvered the edge of the sidewalk as if she were walking a tightrope. It was late evening and the sky was pink from the setting sun.

"You know you have to go home some time, Roo," he said. "The park closes pretty soon."

"Stop calling me that," Ruthie protested as she teetered on the edge of the cement. "I'd call you Piglet if you hadn't already assigned that one to Joe." Will snickered.

"I kind of think of myself as more of a…Tigger….kind of guy anyway," he said. Ruthie slid onto the bench next to him.

"Well, Joe refuses to call me anything but 'Roosie', thanks to you….Tigger." She nudged him. Will grinned softly.

"Can I help it if my Mom is an A.A. Milne fan? I cut my teeth on 'Now We Are Six'."

"And that is why you are so smart," she declared. Will chuckled and ran his hands through his short blonde hair.

"Well, you're smart too, Ruthie," he said finally. "Smart enough to know that you need to go home." Her face fell and she slipped her hands between her thighs and the hard bench.

"I don't have a home," she said darkly.

"That's not true." Ruthie was silent.

"I can't stay there any more," she said after a long moment.

"Why?"

"Because…..you know." Will shook his head.

"She didn't kill your parents, Ruthie." Ruthie's eyes narrowed and she shook her head.

"So what are you going to do?" he asked after a long moment of studying her. "Sleep on the trains?"

"Maybe the pier…." she said. "Or the beach." Will laughed.

"Spoken like someone who hasn't dealt with sea breezes at night." He looked up as he saw the tall figure ambling slowly down the sidewalk toward them. Ruthie sensed his anticipation and followed his gaze. Her eyes widened as she looked back at her friend.

"You called them?" she cried angrily.

"You've been gone for hours, Roo" Will said defensively. "They're worried about you."

"I hate you!" she spit. Will sighed and stood up.

"Yeah, well….at least you'll be safe," he said as he strode away from her toward Luka. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"I won't be there!" she called out angrily. Will waved a hand and kept on walking. Ruthie watched stubbornly as he stopped for a moment and spoke with Luka. Then Will turned back and waved again before he headed toward the park's gates.

"He shouldn't have called you," Ruthie said angrily as Luka approached her slowly.

"I should have known you'd be here," he said as he sat next to her on the bench. "You're as goofy as Joe when it comes to those swan boat things." He nudged her shoulder lightly.

"Yeah, well, at least they aren't those stupid duck boats…er…car things." Luka grabbed his chest playfully as if he'd been wounded. Ruthie suppressed a smile and then kicked a stone toward the edge of the pond.

"I can't go home with you," she said with intense finality.

"Okay. I'll take you to a hotel then," he said. Ruthie glanced up at him sideways and frowned.

"You're not going to make me go back?" Luka shook his head and reached down to pick up a pebble.

"Nope." He tossed the pebble into the pond where it landed in the water with a plink. They both watched as the circles of tiny waves widened n in the still water.

"You're not going to give me a 'you can't run away from your problems' speech or anything?" Luka shook his head.

"Nope." He tossed another pebble into the water. Ruthie studied him.

"Why not?' He shrugged.

"Well, you're not going to make a very good parent…." she muttered quietly as she gazed down at her tennis shoes and kicked at the dirt. Luka suppressed a grin.

"I probably should go back," she said suddenly as she lifted her head. 'I mean…..to say good bye to Joe and all. It's not a good thing not to say good bye." He shrugged his shoulders again.

"That's up to you," he said.

"And I don't have to actually talk to her or anything…" Luka was silent. Ruthie looked over at him curiously. Luka's eyes met hers and he shrugged.

"What?" she asked. He shrugged again and reached for another pebble.

"You are just like her…." he said softly as he tossed the pebble. Ruthie stood up angrily with her hands on her hips.

"I am nothing like her!" she cried. Luka leaned back and looked up at her.

"You're stubborn. You think you can handle all of the world's problems on your own with no help. You never say exactly what it is that you want to say. Oh yeah. You are just like her." He shook his head. Ruthie glared at him.

"I made myself miserable for a few weeks by not bringing myself to do something Abby and I had promised ourselves we would always do," he said as he stood up. "We promised that we would talk about everything. That there would be nothing we couldn't say to one another." He started down the sidewalk along the path toward the gate. Ruthie watched him curiously and then began to follow him.

"What didn't you talk to her about?" Luka stopped in his tracks and turned around. He slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans and gazed at her. He took a deep breath.

"I couldn't figure out why my wife was so intent on helping someone who was a basically a stranger to her," he said. "I thought that maybe she was keeping a secret. That the reason she had so much…. love…. and protection…for this stranger was because they were related somehow. Maybe a daughter she had given up for adoption once or something." Ruthie's eyes widened and then she frowned.

"Did you…talk….about it?" Luka nodded. He cocked an eye brow at her and grinned slightly. Ruthie swallowed and shook her head.

"I can't…." she said slowly.

"She'll wait until you can," he said softly. "I promise. She loves you." He watched her for a moment and then started walking back toward the gate. Ruthie watched him and then hurried after him, keeping in step as they ambled side by side in the dusk.


	11. Chapter 11

The meeting was terrible. The coffee was cold. She was surrounded by people she had never seen before with the exception of Deanna. And she had shared. Really, really shared. She hadn't done that once in Boston. Not since rehab really. But she was scared. Frightened of what was going on in Ruthie's head. Wondering what had set her off. Knowing that it had to do with her history of drinking. Wondering what she was going to need to do to fix it. Wondering if she even could. After dropping Deanna off at work with shared smiles and a word of encouragement, she had turned her actions to Ruthie. She called Maggie to learn that Ruthie hadn't come home. So she drove around. Around and around Boston's crazy streets looking for her. Then Will called the house. He said that Ruthie was fine. She just needed time. Maggie told her to come home….and wait.

"Mommy!" Joe crowed as Abby opened the front door. He was dancing in the kitchen door wearing nothing but his shorts. "Come and see! Come and see!" She couldn't help but smile as he raced toward her and grabbed her hand. Joe pulled her to the kitchen and climbed proudly onto a chair by the table filled with heart shaped cookies covered with every color of frosting imaginable.

"Wow!" she chuckled. "Did you do all this?" His hands were on his hips as he surveyed the table with a huge grin on his face. Maggie laughed softly as she put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on.

"He most certainly did," she said as she turned to them. "We had to borrow some food coloring from your neighbor though. I've already put it on Luka's shopping list. Won't it be fun to see what he comes home with?" Abby laughed, nodded and wrapped her arms around the little boy standing on the chair next to her. She buried her face in his vanilla and flour scented neck.

"Where's Roosie, Mommy?" Joe asked as he pulled free from her grasp. "I want a cookie."

"Well, your Mommy's home now, Joe," Maggie said quickly. "We can all have a cookie." She opened the refrigerator and poured milk into waiting glasses on the counter. She carried three glasses to the table and found a spot to put them amongst the cookies. She eyed Abby worriedly but handed her a plate to put the cookies on. Abby began stacking cookies on the plate to clear the table.

"What colors should we have now, sweetie?" she asked. Joe searched the table and picked up a pink one and a yellow one.

"Dis one is for Roosie," he said as he handed her a purple one. "That's hers favorite." Abby slipped it onto the bigger plate.

"We'll keep it right here for her," she said. She gathered the rest of the cookies to the plate and set it in the center of the table. She sat in a chair next to Joe. Maggie watched her carefully and slid a glass of milk in her direction. Abby grinned at Joe as he sat up straight with his cookie in both hands. He was swinging his legs as he ate. He looked up at her and smiled. Abby smiled and half heartedly lifted the cookie to her mouth.

"Remember when you were little and we could solve all of our problems by baking cookies?" Maggie said.

"Sometimes at three in the morning," Abby chuckled ruefully. Maggie's smile faded slowly. Abby looked up at her and then shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Mom," she said. "I didn't mean to…" Maggie held up a hand then smiled at Joe.

"We've got a champion cookie baker on our hands here," she said. "His shirt was covered with frosting. I'm not sure the stains will ever come out." Joe grinned and took a sip of milk from his small cup. Maggie studied Abby's face for a long moment as her daughter chatted carefully with the little boy.

"Abby," she said finally. Abby looked at her. Maggie took a deep breath.

"I did a search thing on the computer while you were gone." Maggie pulled a folded paper from her pocket and handed to Abby. She watched as Abby opened it curiously and read the contents. Her eyes widened and she looked up at the ceiling as the color drained from her face.

"How could I have not known this?" she said quietly. "They were killed in a DUI. How could I not know that? Oh my god…."

"Abby, she didn't tell anyone," Maggie said as her hands flattened on the table in front of her. Her fingers slid slowly toward Abby's but her daughter pulled them away.

"None of us knew."

"No wonder she hates me," Abby said as she shrugged forlornly. "And I can't fix it. I'll never be able to. I keep trying to pretend that it's not going to matter. That this time things would be different. That it's all behind me." Abby glanced at Joe who was sitting quietly and watching her with wide, brown eyes. She held out her hands and he climbed readily into her lap. Maggie watched sadly as Abby wrapped her arms snugly around the little boy and pressed her cheek against the top of his head.

"But it's always going to be there…." she murmured. "And someday he is going to hate me too."

"Oh Abby, stop that," Maggie scoffed impatiently. "Children do not hate their mothers." Abby lifted her eyes to Maggie's face and Maggie grimaced.

"Well, okay," Maggie shrugged. "Maybe sometimes…..but not forever, right?" Abby snuggled Joe closer and closed her eyes again. Maggie watched her, not knowing what to say. She took a deep breath.

"You are a good mother, Abby," she said softly. "And you have Luka. You're not doing this all alone. Not like I was."

"I could have been."

"But you're not. Stop it." Abby sighed and kissed the top of Joe's head. She shifted in her seat and looked down at him. The little boy had fallen sound asleep in her lap. She blinked as a lump grew in her throat. He was just a little kid. He didn't care about anything except that his mom was holding him and he was safe. It was such a heady thing. He trusted her - them - keep him warm and fed and happy….and safe. She shifted him carefully to her shoulder and stood up.

"I'm going to put him down for his nap," she said quietly. Maggie nodded and watched as she left the kitchen and disappeared up the stairs to his bedroom. She shrugged worriedly and picked up another cookie. She sighed again and dropped the cookie back onto the plate.

It was late when Luka and Ruthie returned. Maggie was trying to read a magazine in the couch when the door opened. She dropped it to the floor and hurried to the door. She hugged an unresponsive Ruthie and then held her at arms length as she frowned at her.

"Don't you ever do this to us again," she scolded. Ruthie looked at her and then pulled herself gently out of Maggie's grasp.

"I need to take a shower," she said quietly. "And then I'm going to bed." Maggie watched worriedly as the girl moved toward the basement door and then glanced up at Luka. He just shrugged.

"Did Abby say when she would be home from the hospital?" he asked. Maggie shook her head.

"They told her that it would just be for a couple of hours. That was…" she glanced at her watch. "…four hours ago." Luka nodded grimly.

"She was going crazy just waiting here," Maggie said. "I think she was glad when they called her in." Luka chuckled.

"Probably," he sighed.

"I put Joe to bed but I promised him that you would kiss him when you came home." Luka nodded and headed toward the stairs. He stopped at the landing.

"Thank you," he said as he looked back at her. "I'm glad you were here." Maggie grinned wryly and nodded.

Ruthie was sleeping in the rollaway bed when Abby looked in on her several hours later. She was disappointed but Luka said she was fine. Maggie wasn't really surprised to see her awake, thumbing through a magazine.

"You were faking it?" she asked as she folded the blankets back on Ruthie's bed. Ruthie was silent.

"I don't want to talk to her." Maggie nodded.

"Okay," she said as she slipped into bed and adjusted the blankets.

"I don't ever want to talk to her." Maggie chuckled and shifted in the bed.

"That might be kind of hard since you're living in her house," she said.

"I don't have to be," Ruthie said. "I can find someplace else to live. I did before."

"Yes, you did," Maggie replied. "You came here."

Ruthie was silent and tossed her magazine to the floor. She turned on her side to face the wall and Maggie watched her for a moment. She reached out to turn the bedside lamp off and tucked her hand under her cheek as her thoughts were spinning. She frowned worriedly. How were they going to get through this? It was a moment before she heard the first soft little sniffle coming from the other bed.

"Ruthie?" she said softly. "It's okay."

"I can't ever forgive her," came a muffled response.

"Forgive who? " Maggie asked. "Abby?" Ruthie was silent.

"Abby doesn't need your forgiveness, sweetie," Maggie chuckled softly. "The only person she needs forgiveness from is herself….and her husband." Maggie turned on her side and gazed at the girl across the room.

"And, quite frankly, if Luka wasn't willing to offer that to her, then you and I wouldn't be here." Ruthie was still as she faced the wall, her back to Maggie.

" And Abby?" Maggie went on, her voice soft and steady. "Well, Abby would probably be back in Chicago doing what she always does when life pulls the rug out from under her….just starting all over again. And I know that because I have had a hand in pulling a rug or two on her myself." Ruthie rolled angrily onto her back and folded her arms behind her head.

"She's a drunk," she said sharply. "She drove a car when she was drunk. She could have kil……"

"Ruthie," Maggie interrupted, her voice quiet and sharp. "Terrible things have happened to you and no one can change that. I know that you are angry. But you are fifteen years old. Honey, you have a lot of life ahead of you. And I am…not….going to allow you harm yourself even more by saying these terrible things about someone who has done nothing but offer you kindness and affection..…and a home. People can change. They can work their very hardest to move past decisions they have made in the past. It's damn hard but they can do it. I am doing it. Abby is doing it. You will have to do it some day too. Please don't let this be the mistake you have to put behind you. You need to straighten up and think about what you are saying, young lady. " Maggie turned angrily onto her side and tugged the blankets over her shoulder. Her breaths were coming short and fast as she tried to calm herself down. She turned as she felt the side of the bed sink when Ruthie sat next to her. Maggie looked up with a frown and then. Ruthie stifled a sob as tears poured down her cheeks.

"Aw, honey," Maggie crooned and brushed a strand of dark hair behind the girl's ear. Ruthie began to cry as she moved carefully into Maggie's embrace. Maggie gathered her close and held on tightly as the girl sobbed. She pulled her into the bed beside her and just held her.

"It's okay, sweetie," Maggie sighed as she kissed her forehead. "It's going to be okay. I love you, baby. I do. We all do. You are not alone." Ruthie clung to her as the tears flowed.


	12. Chapter 12

The house was unusually quiet when Ruthie made her way up the stairs the next morning. She could smell the coffee in the coffee maker and stopped on the landing when she peeked around the door and saw Abby, still in her pajamas, curled into a ball in the corner of the couch with a cup of coffee in one hand. She was reading something that was perched on the arm of the couch. Ruthie leaned back against the wall and toyed with the end of a strand of hair lying over her shoulder. She took a deep breath and then rounded the door. Abby looked up and took a sip of her coffee.

"Where is everyone?" Ruthie asked.

"Grocery shopping," Abby replied. "Luka left a note."

"No one woke you up either?" Abby shook her head.

"I kind of had a rough night at the hospital. Didn't get much sleep." Their eyes met and held for a moment. Ruthie looked away and sighed heavily. She gestured up the stairs.

"I'm going to...um…take a shower," she said. Abby nodded and took another sip of her coffee as she turned back to her medical journal. She glanced back and watched as Ruthie made her way up the stairs, a worried little frown creasing her forehead.

Abby was dressed and in the kitchen when Ruthie emerged from the basement again dressed in similar jeans and a tee shirt. She looked up from the stove where she was watching a grilled cheese sandwich in a pan. She forced a smile as Ruthie opened the refrigerator and took out the carton of orange juice.

"Hungry? I made you a grilled cheese," Abby said cheerfully and tipped her head toward the table. Ruthie nodded and sat down in front of the paper plate with the golden brown sandwich. Abby slipped another sandwich from the pan onto a second plate and turned the burner off. She carried her sandwich to the chair opposite Ruthie and poured herself a glass of juice. She sat down and grinned as she cut the grilled cheese in half.

"Grilled cheese," she sighed happily. "It's the one thing I know I can cook well." Ruthie was silent as she toyed with the food on her plate. Abby watched her as she picked up half of hers and took a bite. Abby chewed and took a sip of juice. She set the glass back on the table.

"Ruthie," she said quietly. "I'm sorry that I didn't know about your parents. I…"

"Maggie told me," Ruthie interrupted her. She kept her eyes averted to the sandwich on her plate. "About how it was when you were growing up, I mean. She told me." Abby sat back in her chair and dropped her hands into her lap.

"Yeah well…it's no excuse for the choices that I've made," she sighed.

"But I'm lucky," Ruthie said as she dragged her eyes to Abby's face. "I had my grandma. We were happy. She took good care of me." Abby nodded slowly.

"You were very lucky." Ruthie shrugged.

"What happened? When you were drinking and driving?" Abby's eyes widened a bit at the direct question and she sat back in her chair. She quessed that she should have expected nothing less from her.

"Luka was in Croatia," she said slowly. "I was panicked about something and was trying to get to him. I guess I thought if we could, it would be all better. My car veered off the road and I realized that I couldn't drive so I talked a cab driver into taking me to the airport."

"And did you get to him?" Abby shook her head and smiled ruefully.

"They wouldn't sell me a ticket." Ruthie studied her and nodded slowly. Her brow wrinkled again.

"Why do people drink?" Abby took a deep breath.

"I don't know. For lots of reasons, I guess. Some people drink because other people around them are drinking. Some like the taste or the way alcohol relaxes them…helps them tone things down. Most people can control their drinking in that kind of situation. Some people can't. They drink to forget things after a while. Forget frustrations…sad things…."

"Were you sad?" Abby chuckled ruefully.

"No….." she said. "I was frustrated mostly. I had everything that I had ever wanted in my life…..a good job, a healthy baby, a husband….and yet I didn't have it. I was dealing with everything alone. I don't know. I didn't tell anyone what was happening to me." Abby shrugged and looked at her. "But after a while I just liked it. Liked the way it made me feel. Then I didn't like the way it made me feel but I couldn't stop."

"But you don't drink now."

"No." Abby wilted a little as Ruthie continued to study her.

"My parents were killed by someone who wouldn't stop drinking."

"I know that, Ruthie. I am so sorry for you but I see things like that happening all the time at the hospital. Last night I lost a patient….a little girl…..who was standing on a sidewalk when a drunk driver plowed into her with his car. I had to tell her parents that we couldn't save her. I know." Tears welled in Abby's eyes as she remembered the night before. Already upset and worried about Ruthie's state of mind, the little girl's situation had very nearly done her in. After talking to her parents in the family room she had found a closet near by, hidden herself and cried. That didn't happen to her at work. Not very often.

"Luka knows about it all," Ruthie said pointedly. "Maggie said he does. And he's still here….with Joe and you." Abby nodded, a lump clutching in her throat as she remembered how close she had come to losing him. Ruthie stood up and dropped her paper plate with half a sandwich into the garbage bin.

"I hope someone loves me like that someday," she said quietly. "Like he does you, I mean. Like there's no room for anyone else…..except Joe." She stopped as she headed toward the living room, a hand braced on the doorway.

"Did you help your friend yesterday? The one from AA?"

"Yeah…..," Abby nodded slowly. "I think so. She needed to talk to someone." Ruthie's fingers tapped lightly on the door jamb as Abby studied her back. They both jumped a little as the phone rang.

"That's probably Will," Ruthie said. "He said he was going to call today." Abby sat back in the chair and sighed heavily as she listened to Ruthie answer the phone. She frowned and then took a deep breath. The kid was hard.

Luka was busy in their small bit of back yard with a measuring tape when she found him later.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she stepped off the back steps. He looked up and grinned.

"Trying to decide if we should build a sandbox out here for Joe to play in," he said. Abby wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him.

"Joe would love it," she said. Luka grinned wryly and nodded as he looked down at her.

"Yeah, but so would the neighborhood cats," he chuckled. "But I could probably build a top for it. I saw one in a book like that." Abby untangled her self from his arms and stood back to watch him as he bent over and went back to measuring.

"Thanks for getting groceries today." He chuckled again.

"We would have been home sooner if your mother hadn't followed me through the store watching me look around for the….food coloring….box. I didn't know where it was."

"Yeah, well….she was kind of looking forward to that," Abby grinned. He nodded ruefully and then sat back in the grass and looked up at her.

"Did you talk to Ruthie?" Abby nodded.

"It was tough." Luka nodded and then raised his eyebrows questioningly and patted the grass next to him. She smiled and sat down, leaning carefully back against his chest. Luka's arm encircled her and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Abby stretched her legs straight out in front of her, enjoying the cool ticklish feel of the grass on her bare feet.

"She said something king of interesting about you," Abby said. Luka waited.

"She said that you love me like there is no room for anyone else….except Joe." His arms wrapped a little more snugly around her.

"She's a smart girl," he sighed.

"But do you really feel like that?" she asked. "Like there can only be the three of us?" Luka was silent.

"She doesn't have anyone, Luka," she said softly. "She's all alone." He sighed heavily….sadly.

"I know, Abby," he said. "And I am trying." She nodded and nestled closer in his arms. She threaded her fingers into his and kissed the top of his hand. She brought it up and rested her cheek against it as he pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. She looked up as the back screen door slammed shut and Joe stood on the top step with his hands on his hips.

"Hey guys," he cried happily. "What 'cha doing?" His dark bangs brushed his eyebrows as he gazed at them curiously. He scratched his chin and then hopped down the steps and hurried across the short span of grass to throw himself into Abby's lap. Luka's big hands caught the little boy up and held him over his head as he lay back in the grass. Abby eased herself out of the tangle of arms and legs and ducked as a small sneakered foot came dangerously close to her head. She smiled broadly and inched to safety just a little away from them. Luka was roaring and tickling and Joe was squealing in delight and all was well with her world.


	13. Chapter 13

Maggie chuckled as she took the melting ice cream cone from Joe and he raced across the sand toward the play structure in the park as fast as his short little legs could carry him. She watched as he carefully climbed the ladder and stood at the top of the slide waiting for his turn. She pitched the cone into a trash bin and then sat on the bench near Abby. She looked up at the cloudy blue sky and then back at the group of children on the play structure.

"This is a beautiful city, Abby" she said, not taking her eyes off her grandson. "I can see why you chose to move here." Abby nodded, her eyes crinkling as she smiled at Joe. He was waving and then tumbled down the wide yellow slide that ended flush with the ground. He stood up at the bottom, brushed the sand from his hands and started up the ladder again. Maggie shifted in her seat.

"Although part of me wondered at first if you moved here because it was even farther away from me…." Abby looked back at her in confusion and Maggie shrugged. "Well, there are hospitals in Minnesota too, you know." She glanced back at Maggie and grinned. Maggie rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"It's just so far away."

"Faster if you'd fly." Maggie sighed.

"Maybe one of these days I'll figure out how to do that again." Maggie chuckled as Joe tumbled down the slide again, brushed himself off and headed for the ladder. Abby leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands.

"I don't know what to do," she sighed forlornly. Maggie frowned sympathetically and reached out to rub her back sympathetically.

"Aw honey," she said quietly. "I think you do. Luka just wants his family back. He deserves that much and so do you. You went through so much and worked so very hard to get here." Abby nodded.

"And what do I do about Ruthie?" She sat back against the park bench and frowned. Maggie studied her for a long moment and then forced a bright smile.

"You could give her to me." Abby's eyes widened a bit and she swallowed before turning to look back at her mother. Maggie smiled sheepishly.

"Maybe the two of us need each other……or something." Maggie looked away as her voice trailed off. "You could keep that legal custody but just let her live with me. I wouldn't let her do anything without discussing it with you first."

"You want to go through all of that again? She's a….teenager," Abby said as she studied her increduously.

"I know that, Abby," her mother replied quickly. "And I know you don't think that I did such a good job with you and Eric but maybe this time I can get it right. I have been taking my medication for five whole years now. Anyway, Ruthie's a smart girl and she usually makes good choices for herself. There's driver's ed to think about. Oh and there's a very good Catholic school not far from my apartment and there's a girl about Ruthie's age in my complex who goes there and….."

"Mom!" Abby said sharply and shook her head slowly. Maggie stopped. Her face fell in disappointment.

"No Catholic school….." Abby said firmly.

"Honey, I know you didn't like the uniforms and god knows you didn't like the nuns but you were a thorn in their side as well and you have to admit that you got a good, solid education….." Maggie stopped as a realization flooded her. Her eyes flew back to her daughter's face.

"You're going to let me have her?" A slow smile made its way across Abby's face and she nodded.

"It's up to Ruthie, of course," she said as Maggie inched toward her. "And we want her back in the summer….if she wants to come."

"I promise," Maggie nodded emphatically.

"And we'll get her a phone so she can call us whenever she wants." Maggie grimaced and shook her head.

"I would never stop her from doing that." Abby's brow crinkled worriedly and her eyes grew sad.

"If she goes," Abby said quietly. "It's just going to be one more reason for me to miss you." Maggie sighed slowly and pulled Abby into her embrace.

"Thank you, Abby," she said as she pressed a kiss to her daughter's cheek and held her close. "Thank you for that." Abby nodded and returned her mother's hug.

It was a week later when they stood in the bus terminal. Ruthie watched as her new, huge duffle bag was stowed in the luggage compartment and looked up as Luka made his way toward her. He grinned and held up some magazines.

"Reading material for your trip," he said. He handed her a magazine.

"Newsweek…" Ruthie stared at the magazine he handed her. Her eyes widened as each one was stacked in her hands.

"Time…News World and Report…..National Geographic….'

"How did you know?" the girl asked incredulously.

"Whenever I went looking for mine, I would find them with your things…." Luka grinned. "And this too." He handed her an entertainment news magazine. Ruthie closed her eyes in embarrassment.

"My secret shame….." she sighed softly. "So frivolous." Luka laughed and took her water bottle so she could tuck the magazines into her back pack. Ruthie looked up at him and slowly took her water bottle again.

"Thank you," she said with a serious frown. Luka grinned slowly and then reached out to draw the girl into a hug. Ruthie slowly relaxed and hugged him back.

"Do you have your cell phone?" Ruthie nodded her head against his chest. "We'll see you again at Christmas, eh?" Ruthie nodded again.

"I need to go rescue Joe from his Grandmother," he said with a smile as they parted. Ruthie nodded again and watched him head toward Maggie and Joe near the doors. The girl's eyes shifted to Abby, who stood nearby watching her.

"Are you sure that you're okay with this?" Abby asked suddenly as she folded her arms across her chest. "I mean if you're not you can just…."

"She needs me," Ruthie said quietly. "I'll be okay." Abby nodded slightly. Ruthie looked down at her feet and then tipped her head up with a small smile.

"Besides, if I'm living with Maggie that sort of makes us like sisters, right?" Abby's shoulders sagged and her smile widened. She reached out and waited as Ruthie moved into a hug.

"You bet it does. Exactly like sisters." They stood together for a long moment with their arms around one another. Abby sighed heavily as she pressed a kiss to the girl's cheek.

"Will you call me and talk to me…..if you need to?" Ruthie asked. Abby grinned and tightened her hold on the girl.

"I will," she said quietly. "I promise I will. And you need to promise me the same. Sometimes Maggie can be….well….call me for anything." Ruthie nodded and eased back. She wiped the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

"And can I come back next summer and take care of Joe again?"

"That's part of the deal," Abby said firmly. "It's the only way I would let you go." She slipped an arm across Ruthie's shoulder and they made their way toward the small group in the corner of the bus terminal. Ruthie took Joe from Luka and hugged him playfully.

"I left Seymour Bear on your bed," she said as she hitched his legs around her. "Take care of him for me until I come back, okay?" Joe nodded and squeezed his arms around her neck tightly. Abby glanced from them toward her mother. Maggie watched them sadly and then caught Abby's gaze.

"'Christmas, Mom," Abby said adamantly. "Promise me…..Christmas." Maggie nodded and hugged Abby.

"I promise, sweetheart," Maggie chuckled. "Maybe we'll even fly." She kissed Abby and then took Joe from Ruthie.

"One more hug for Grandma, my big handsome boy…" Maggie held the little boy close for a moment and then handed him to Abby,

"Ready to go, kiddo?" Ruthie nodded and shifted her back pack on her shoulder again. Joe squirmed down from his mother's grasp and ran to the window as Ruthie and Maggie made their way through the sliding doors toward the idling bus. Abby and Luka followed him, watching until they saw their faces in a window on the tall bus. Joe laughed and waved as Ruthie blew him a kiss. Maggie nodded with a chagrined smile as Abby sternly mouthed the word 'Christmas' again. Then she pressed a kiss to her fingers and waved. Abby blinked back tears and did the same. Luka wrapped his arms around her and tucked his chin to the top of her head.

"It's the right thing, Abby," he said softly. "They'll be happy together….and be good for each other too."

"I know," she said as she leaned her head against him, watching the bus pull out. "But, I think I'm just a little jealous of Ruthie. I think, maybe, this time Maggie** is** going to get it right." They watched until the bus was gone and then each took one of their son's hands. Joe laughed as they counted to three and then swung him into the air. Abby looked up at Luka when the little boy landed on his feet and hopped trying to keep up with them. Luka grinned and winked at her. Abby chuckled. Yep. They were all going to get it right….this time.


End file.
